Am I nagging Kevin?

Things about my husband I don't understand:
1. Why do you fall asleep in the chair every night instead of going to bed? Wouldn't it be easier in the long run to just move over to the couch and lie down? Yes, I said couch. I have forced him to sleep on the couch because I can't get any rest between Danny's nighttime visits, Ben's frequent cries and Kevin's early-morning wake-up time. Falling asleep in the chair leads to a bent neck and loud(er) snoring which I then have to get out of bed to deal with. This usually occurs one hour before Ben's first cry which is followed up by Danny out of bed.
2. Why don't you close cabinets that you open? I have almost cracked my head on several wide-open cabinet doors in my 3 a.m. stumblings to get to the baby bottle cabinet. This leads to my point that we have discussed from time to time: we don't put anything away or back the way it was before it was used, ending up in a trashed house where it is impossible to find basic necessities like chocolate.
3. Why don't you put a fresh roll of toilet paper on the little holder? Is it better somehow to put the fresh roll on the sink, leaving the sad remains of the previous roll still on the holder?
4. How do you sleep through loud noises, kids pulling on you, the dog whining to go out and me giving you dirty looks and cussing you out loud under my breath? Are you really sleeping or are you trying to avoid dealing with the boys? Wait, that Cheetos incident occurred after the kids were in bed...I guess you really are sleeping.
5. Why do you ask for such ridiculous condiments? No, you didn't read that wrong--I said condiments. I mean, come on...if it's not relish, it's cream cheese or honey-mustard. Can't you be happy with ketchup and plain mustard? Can't you have butter on your bagel? Must you ask for cream cheese when you know I can't even keep our milk and eggs supply on track, let alone stocking our fridge/cabinets with luxury items like cream cheese or tartar sauce?
6. And, the most important and most bewildering question of all: how in the world do you put up with me?