Why do we bother going out to eat?

Do you ever wonder why you even bother to go out to eat with young children? I wonder this every time we go out.

First, the preparation. There's the bantering back and forth between Kevin and me about whether or not we should go. Then, the decision, that yes, we will go. Everyone must get dressed...not a small task when you haven't done laundry in some time. There's the diapering of Ben, then the pull-up for Danny, the argument over the shirt choice for Danny and the bribing so Danny will put his own shoes on (something he's very capable of doing but likes to pretend he can't do, so someone else has to do it for him).

Now, where to go? What restaurant has good kids' choices for Danny with a fun coloring sheet? Where can we go so that someone's meal can be shared with Ben? Fast food is the best choice for Danny who really loves chicken and french fries, but not so good for Ben because he can't really chew chicken or hamburgers and does ok with fries torn up, but that's not exactly a great meal for a 1 year old. So, at this point, I end up packing a meal for Ben that usually consists of bread/cheese or peanut butter and a banana. Then, I've got to pack the diaper bag...don't forget the bib and the disposable placemats, extra diapers, wipes, jackets, etc.

Danny's favorite restaurant is McDonald's or as he calls it, "The Golden M". What is this fascination with McDonald's? Are they subliminally brainwashing the youth of America during commercials? Is there something addictive in the chicken mcnuggets? What is going on? Every time we ask Danny where he wants to eat he says "The Golden M". He doesn't even really like their food the best. He much prefers the food at Wendy's, but I swear to you, he is strangely compelled to go to McDonald's, and he is so adamant about it, it's as if he was implanted with a tiny, golden homing device at birth.

After church on Sunday, we decided to go to the Beanery. This was one of the worst dining out experiences I have ever been a part of. Danny was in one of his competitive moods and was royally ticked off because Kevin beat him to the car after church. This sent him into a tantrum the likes of which I have never seen. I bribed him with a coloring book from the Rite-Aid if he would calm down and change his attitude. I realized the bribe didn't work as I chased him around the store after I opened the door instead of letting him do it. Back at the Beanery, the waitress was thoroughly confused about whether or not to bring us drinks as Kevin and I discussed staying or leaving. Finally, we got things together and had a decent meal but at that point, I was on the verge of losing my mind completely and I'm pretty sure I heard Kevin say he hated all of us under his breath.

Tonight, we went to The Golden M. All was well, except that for the second time in the last two weeks, I have started to eat my meal and realized that I was about to swallow something that shouldn't have been there. Has this ever happened to you? Last week we went to the Outback Steakhouse and some little nugget in my garlic mashed potatoes didn't seem quite right. Today, something in my quarter pounder was not expected. I think it was a straw paper. Not sure about the mashed potatoes though. I don't want to think about it.

My questions: why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Why do we put ourselves through the complete torture that is eating out with youngsters? Why do we extend our torture to innocent diners? What keeps making us go out for meals only to be disappointed by foreign matter in our entrees? I'm afraid my laziness will come shining through but, I can sum up the answers to these questions in three little words...no dirty dishes.